Herself or Myself

I believe I wrote this when I was 18 almost 19 years old.  Young girl dealing with pain and the life she saw and what it meant to have compassion and empathy:

I heard you cryin the other night and didn’t know what to do

I felt every tear every sigh, pouring through me and rip me in two

Once again the world has turned its back on you

Once again I stand paralyzed not knowing what to do

I saw you praying the other night and decided to do the same

I didn’t know what you were asking for so I asked for mercy in your name

Hoping God hasn’t become cruel and uncaring to your pain

Hoping He still feels for you and loves you just the same

I noticed the way you walk around now with your head down

I do it now like I’ve lost something special never to be found

Keeping it up high is too hard when you’re around

Keeping it up when all I want to do is let it hang down

I know he beat you once again the other night

I didn’t see him do it but the bruises tell the story on sight

Loving him isn’t going to make it all right

Loving him won’t make him stop hitting you at night

I swear someone was saying the meanest thing about you the other day

I stopped her immediately, told her there’s no base for what you say

Telling her didn’t do one good thing for you

Telling her wasn’t the main thing you needed me to do

I understand now why you and I get along so well

I never had anyone to come to my world and make it anything but hell

Knowing you let’s me see myself clearly

Knowing you helps me to appreciate the pain I hold so dearly

I believe I know how I can help give you back your world

I have a tale on how I got mine back that would make your toes curl

Walking through hell is the only way to salvation I know

Walking away from him is like leaving the last circle of Dante’s inferno

I promised myself that you’d never be hurt again, or was that for me

I can’t seem to separate between us and decide which of us should be free

Staying together on this is important for us

Staying together is the only way we can do what we must

I decided that it was past time that this whole affair came to an end

I want you tot know that the pain has to stop so your heart can mend

Leaving your pain isn’t the answer to your question

Leaving the source of your pain is the way to your hearts protection

I need you to comprehend that this pain you must keep

I tell you it is the reminder you’ll need so this mistake you won’t repeat

Holding the pain will keep you alive as everything else goes cold

Holding the pain will be the spark to make sure you always keep fire in your soul

I stand here now before you with hope in my eyes and both hands held out

I offer you now the method in which to rid yourself of horror and doubt

Standing before you is the life that doesn’t belong to anyone else

Standing beside you is where together we will journey to find ourself.