Fantasy

I sometimes wonder about you

Something in the way you stare

When I get ‘I love you’ out of mid air

Am I truly that lucky, more love than I can bare

I wonder about your mask, the face you hide

Why is there apart of you that you hold inside

I then want to know all there is to know

To be told the many places forbidden for me to go

Will someone else be granted into this space

Someone else be given access to this place

I would like to go there and be with you

I don’t fear ugly I suspect what is untrue

This man I love is he real or fantasy

A figment of a perfect man as I would have him be

Myths are lies too fantastic to touch

I want life with warts, flaws and such

I know for me you are the man you desire to be

But what is the point in living a lie to satisfy fantasy

In this perfect little world where our love rules

There is no room for mistakes and misguided fools

In others you rest your passion

Your lyrical voice with fanatical fashion

If only those thoughts lied with me

If only I could be the fantasy and reality

I suppose I will settle for being your wife

Never truly knowing the drive of your hidden life

Where you see sickness I see the recipe of my true love

Where you see separation I see stife unheard of

As I lay myself bare to you

I wonder will you ever follow through

As I tell my worst fears

You lie to stop the tears

All along I thought this was about quality not quantity

All along I believed I held enough variety

I suppose the biggest crime of all remains to face me

That you require more than me to fulfill your fantasy

Falling

Have you ever been here before, has life ever pulled you away from yourself?

How does one walk forward into chaos knowing what it is?

To know your devil and to face it are entirely removed from each other.

I’m falling fast, hard and painfully.

I feel my nails grating against the steel walls

I feel my legs treading as if in water

My arms flinging to either side of me

My head shaking in denial

The question in it impossible but viable

How do you stop the inevitable?

Where does comfort remain in a force like lightning?

Swift, powerful, restrained yet free

What are you doing to me?

Bring me love without a partner

One heart, one soul, no blend, no empathy

He can’t love me, has no desire to do so.

I can’t say I don’t love him, myth and lie in one

Stop falling, I scream to myself

Stop falling, he won’t help you up

Stop falling, let self-preservation kick in at any time

Stop falling, isn’t the nature of falling uncontrollable

Stop falling, I can’t