I love those conversations that begin with blaming someone else for what happened in a another person's relationship. How so and so screwed things up or so and so stole someone's man or woman. The truth is the only people who can screw things up in a relationship are the two people involved.
Years ago I spoke briefly about this subject in my memoir style book Perilous Flight.
Perilous Flight from Barnes & Noble
Perilous Flight from Amazon
While the account was full I believe that it needs to be expanded upon. What this account includes is a tidbit of advice from my stepfather that I believe is the simplest, most efficient way of dealing with this.
When you really explore this it places all of the issues in a relationship where they belong. With the people involved. The idea that someone has broken a couple up, either as a close friend or as a new partner is ridiculous. The fact is that a person in the relationship didn't want to be there anymore. That simple. Life set the stage and they acted accordingly. In an idea world this is handled civilly with little hurt. But this world is far from idea. So sometimes the method feels heartless and brutal. And for some it is their intent. You shouldn't be with someone who enjoys your pain anyway. It's the best tip that this needs to end.
In most situations after the pain has faded people can be honest with themselves about it all. One or both people always felt that the connection was unsubstantial. There was awareness of an issue.
|You're Doing it Wrong!|
The definition for insanity is the process of trying the same thing over and over yet expecting different outcomes. All those other people are distractions from the truth and proof that you are not dealing with it.
The hard truth is sometimes 2 good people can't make a relationship work. No one is better than or less than anyone else. The reason it doesn't feel right is because it isn't right. And you can't take on the blame for something not working when you did everything you could to make it work. That knowledge involves no one but you. You know if you gave it your all or not.
Everyone courtesy of http://styledip.com/broken-heart/
You’re Doing it Wrong! courtesy of http://relationshiprealizations.com/images/main/x-relationship-in-trouble.jpg
Oh Yeah courtesy of http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/18373732.jpg
What!? Courtesy of http://getbackmyex.com/images/argument1.jpg