Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Sleep Cycles, Dream Bots and Time Travel

Bear with me, I am self admittedly insane, everyone knows that by now. Most of my insanity stems from my dreams. So I often wonder about everyone’s dreams.  I know how my dreams are, the things I see, the things I do and the way I feel.  Everyone has those odd okay I dreamt this and now it's happening moments in life, but what do you do when you start having them constantly.  Besides Prozac that is.

I sleep less and less, not on purpose just residually.  I love sleeping I hate what I dream because I dream of nothing without purpose. My life is almost a daily mode of perpetual déjà vu. At times like this, it’s intensified. People like to think that being able to tell the future and understanding things about life away would be awesome.  But do you really want to know all of the awful or wonderful things that will happen to you and those you love most?  You don't dream about the winning lottery numbers, in the grand scheme of things, these material things are not the lessons you are being taught. The things I dream about are emotional, moral and spiritual. What I have learned over time is that whether you know the outcome or don't know the outcome, very rarely (if ever) can you change the outcome.  At best you usually just delay the outcome.  Those are full circle moments, the powers that be putting you on the path they set that you were silly enough to get off of and find yourself right back in that direction.  I'm living one right now actually in regards to my education.

I believe we get these directives from our dreams.  Yes little dream bots that like to set up your sleeping landscape to properly convey the message you need to be given.  Your sleep cycles determine how many of the little buggers you get. Every human being that has caused or will cause cataclysmic upheaval in my life I've dreamed of.  And depending on the level of chaos they bring, they have a recognizable role in my dreams.  Some are calming, some odd, some brief some ongoing. But I dream of no one that plays no role in my life whether right now or in the near future.

I've found out from friends that those very people have the oddest dreams about me.  Apparently I dream of no one who doesn't dream of me back, whether they know it or not.  Oddly enough in their dreams I'm this scythe of justice, telling things like it is without flinching and generally punishing those that are doing wrongful deeds. Funny but sounds too Goddess Athena with an arch angel Gabriel sidecar for me.  Because sometimes I'm told, I'm in armor wielding a sword, yeah, suitable but off putting.

So that leads directly into time travel. My dreams don't stay in one place in time they actually span a wide variety of times.  I never really understood it before. I would notice the change of dress and the environment but never really negotiated it with time travel. Then when I thought about the idea of past lives and instances of precognition, before your personality is formed in the womb you would be made privy to a wealth of information right before being sealed in flesh.  I would imagine that the whole kaleidoscope of time is spread before you for such a short time that we can't count it.  In that flash you would know everything and then it's gone.  The side effects, the residuals of that stay with you as you pick from everything what you aspire to the most.  Who you will be.

I've started a new book series where I'll start delving deeper into some of these off kilter asinine theories of mine.  The series will be about renewal, a changing of the guards so to speak.  An ascension of humanity into becoming their own shepherds keepers and guardians.  I've started the first two books of the series.  They'll have to be dubbed SCI-Fi romance because of the pairing off, mating aspect but really it's just not discounting any side of life.  So much knowledge and information passes between human beings during sex, were we more open to it we would learn so much more. It's why intimacy can be increased with sex but not created.  You have to know the person before you're able to truly understand what they are physically saying to you.  Bad communication is just that.

So through sleep cycles, dream bots and time travel a new future will be written.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Gallery of Past Art: Herself Myself

Today's piece is Herself Myself

I've always experienced a sense of duality within myself. Its a study of masks and how we portray ourselves in the world and what is true within ourselves. Needless to say I believe identity is and should be an ongoing pursuit for all people. In many ways my writing confronts this on another level. However before my pen became mature enough to relate this, my art always seemed to encapsulate what I needed to express.

Herself Myself was started as a rough pencil sketch that I then fleshed out with chalk pastels. 

In this self portrait both women are me. This is the face I show the world, brash foreword facing exposed and unapologetic in the stance.

The other is the hidden me who is afraid vulnerable hiding behind the other and sorry for even existing, always striving for perfection knowing its utter impossible and unattainable nature.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Confessions of the Unrequited

As intelligent human beings we sometimes have a tendency to ignore basic fundamental truths about life.   One being our instincts and how accurate they are most of the time.  In my opinion, as we have become more and more 'civilized' we have figured out how to ignore our animal natures for the sake of logic.  I particularly have a tendency to ignore all that defies logic.

Love has and always will defy logic.  Why would I, how could I fall in love in a moment without a thought other than this.  I am in love.  Frozen and in shock completely unbidden. I never asked for this part. For so long I've been aware of your existence and never noticed anything about it. One moment, one chance meeting and I see nothing else. I feel like I'm insane.  I am an intelligent, rational, pragmatic creature that only on occasion commits to flights of fancy and fantasy driven rhetoric.  And when I do, I'm careful to keep it contained.  But this overwhelms me and I can't hold it in not one second longer.

What are the rules of engagement when it comes to declaring impossible, unrequited fairytale love?  In person, by love letter, over a near death experience.  All can either take the path of enlightenment or fall short to suffer the slow pangs of death by the mundane rudimentary nature of our normal existences.  But I was never a stickler for normalcy. Normalcy feels like art without passion. Just an empty shell of what could be. I'm rambling and stalling.

I hope this is taken with the utmost suspension of disbelief.  Because I don't believe I have ever been so painfully honest as I am being right now for you.

I don't know you, yet what I feel . . . I am in love with you and I know as surely as the sun will rise in the morning and set the following night that I will love whoever I find you to be. 

When you tell others of this foolish strange wordy woman throwing herself at you shamelessly, please feel flattered.  I beg of you to speak kindly of someone who has never conducted herself like this before and try not to make it into too big of a joke at my expense.  I may be insane but I stopped believing in fairytales a long time ago so I expect nothing more than the knowledge that I was honest enough to tell you.