Monday, March 21, 2011

Oh Impossible Love


"Did I hear you right?" I glanced up at him at the question. 

Did I hear you right, he asks.  As I stare into eyes the color of which I could not phantom; the depth of which I wouldn't dare to describe.  Did he hear me right he wants to know?  And I openly wonder what does he think he heard.

I'm told when other people are in the presence of two people in the middle of an untenable connection a few things happen.  The moment seems oddly long, and you find yourself wondering why they are just standing there staring at each other.  There is a distinct sound in the air that resembles a bell, and of course the room sizzles with the intensity of it.

Well from the other end something else happens.  Absolutely nothing except quiet, peace and the lack of coherent thought. The closest to heaven any mortal being can ever be. Sweet, sweet oblivion.  Because in a moment that lasts an eternity yet is as brief as a breath, an entire lifetime is lived.  And not a single moment is voiced in a word. It's softer, simpler, and doesn't even require a thought.  Instead it is an action; straightforward, and vivid.  So startling that it knocks the mind on its ear.  So intense it suspends time and space.  So intrusive it halts involuntary bodily functions. Because what has happened is beyond human comprehension.  It is the unbound, uncontrollable essence of love itself, and cannot be conceived by the rudimentary senses of a mere mortal.  Wielded by she who is beyond a goddess, Fate herself, with an unthinking blink of her elusive eyes.  For a second, that I'm sure I imagined, I see the flash of them in his.

What a taunting evil thing it is.  The mere faint whisper of what can truly never be. She weaves this wicked thing that is beyond man and beyond this place letting hapless mortals catch a glimpse of its grace, its majesty.  Just enough to want it. Just enough to know it exists. Enabling the knowing. Enabling each and every man, woman, and child going to their graves never even knowing the slightest taste of what she ordains and wills into their lives with nothing more than a fleeting glance.

"Did you hear me right?" He cautiously amends at my lack of response.

If I close my eyes I can hear her laughter, because while we can't understand her words, she will always endear us the pleasure of her amusement. Why else would she bring such a thing as instant kismet into being?  It must be for the amusement of herself and her court. For all it does is plague mankind leaving us wanting and wishing to be all that we can never be. For love is faith, and faith gives rise to hope, and in hope man can do all.

Accept for this moment.  This instance of reality that is beyond our thought, beyond our comprehension, beyond our ability to recreate. It is her domain and her domain alone.  And she hoards her power selfishly knowing what arrogance would befall man were he able to manufacture what is so simple for her to induce. This miracle that has restructured worlds.  This transplendent point that has reshaped destiny. It seems so carelessly wrought, but how else should such a force be managed?

I look into his eyes and whisper without my voice, a couple of words. Said before in the breath, the eternity, the blink, the lifetime, the instant we touched. My Love.

He smiles down at me returning the acknowledgement, "That's what I thought you said."

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