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| Sacrifice |
The biggest lie ever told to us that we constantly tell
ourselves is that the height of true love is the act of sacrificing your own
happiness for another's. Its
sounds so very noble and gallant doesn't it? Very Christian, for God so loved the world he sacrificed his
only son. The truth is that we are not gods; we are mortal beings with finite
existences and a limited amount of time to achieve a sense of true self and
happiness.
True selflessness doesn't come from sacrifice to another for
the sake of love. This is an egotistical idea and is based in an exaggerated
sense of self-importance and aggrandization. It is an ego trick that we play on
ourselves to attempt to trap another person in our lives. True selflessness
comes from existing as you are created, as you are, and being willing to give
as much of who you are to the world as possible. Thus the idea of being without self.
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| Mermaid Sacrifice |
You are not you, but everyone. Fulfilling your needs is just
as important as everyone else's because we are one. Selfless. Please keep in
mind that this message is coming from a romance writer. I love the idea of the
big sacrifice, but I'm a realist and I believe in love as it is more than the
love of a nihilistic ideology fairytales and religion have peppered us with for
decades now.
This supposed sacrifice is instead just the opposite of true
nobility. It is not a sacrifice
but an attempt at martyrdom to attain some unseen prize that only the person
claiming the sacrifice can truly name. But what do they really attain? Resentment. When you have sacrificed all that brings you happiness and
joy for someone people have unrealistic expectations about what the outcome of
that should be. How is the other
person supposed to respond? Is
there any response that is good enough?
Just death right?
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| Seppuku |
I think back to the days of samurai. They would commit ritual suicide before
suffering the humiliation of losing a battle. How many people died this way without accomplishing
anything. The margin of error is
too small and unrealistic. It is something that has always been held as a brave
and honorable act to willingly face your own death without flinching when a
grave injustice has been done.
But when the injustice is only to pride and ego, where is
the glory gained? This was an act of extreme cowardice. Instead of learning and growing from a
lost battle, these men refused to endure the momentary sting of shame from loss
and instead chose to end their lives. They let a simple perception of ego self
devalue the entirety of their lives to that point. I believe people do this in regards to relationships as well
and it is equally cowardly.
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| Resentment |
We all know relationships are hard work. But we as people enjoy work. What we don't always enjoy is the work
that is available to us. This is
where we need to talk about the difference between people who work fueled by
passion and people who are passionate about work. Because there is a reason besides monetary gain that work as
an institution exists. We need it.
Our souls, our bodies, our minds need the constant interaction and adjusting. Our greatest strength is our adaptability.
So we must flex this muscle often.
We are different each and every one of us. Some of us work tirelessly fueled by
our passion to work while others are passionate about working. I think most
people can be separated into these two quadrants.
People who are fueled by passion for their work are an odd
breed. Artsy, athletic, doers who
need to feel like what they are doing carries some importance and weight. Beyond that they self identify in a lot
of ways with what they are doing for a living. Its' not a job its a part of who
they are.
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| Inexplicable Superhero Couple Nightwing and Starfire |
When fueled by passion to work the relationships need to
embody similar principles or it will not work. They don't have to be identical,
however the core beliefs have to center around work being a craft that is
constantly growing and changing.
Renewal is very important with these types. Understanding of temperament and the occasional huff about
nothing at all. They need an air of excitement and mystery. A hint of constant revolution and
change. A keen understanding of something not just being done right, but as
close to perfect as humanly possible.
Those with a passion to work can do nearly any job that
gives them the basic things they need.
These people are luckier when it comes to relationships because they
like the work of being in a relationship as opposed to how the work identifies
them. They are truly the love the one you’re with type. They like the structure
of someone to come home to. The
idea routine of knowing how the night is going to end and the next day is going
to begin. They enjoy the simple
pleasures of life. Human
companionship, warmth and those stresses of day-to-day life because they are
service oriented.
The key to understanding what relationships work best for
you is understanding what work is best for you. Often you’ll find people in a dead end job they hate in a
relationship that is only slightly better. Sometimes they have an amazing job and their relationships
suffer, or vise versa. But in this work life which shows what people are
willing to do for what they need is the key to what they need to be happy in
all aspects of their lives.
Avoid resentment and live for yourself. Understand what you need in a relationship
and why it makes you happy.
Compromise is path to self-delusion. You should always love the work to the point that is doesn’t
feel like a job and never settle for something less. Know that your happiness is worth the wait and whether in a
relationship or not, you will have it.
Mermaid Sacrifice courtesy of http://digital-art-gallery.com/oid/77/640x419_13593_The_Sacrifice_of_The_Little_Mermaid_2d_fantasy_illustration_mermaid_sea_storm_fairy_tale_shipwreck_picture_image_digital_art.jpg
Resentment courtesy of http://www.sadmuffin.org/pinkforsure/graphics/photography-quotes/resentment.gif
Seppuku courtesy of http://hoffstrizz.typepad.com/.a/6a0128773aba66970c0134854417e4970c-800wi
Inexplicable Superhero couple: Nightwing and Starfire
courtesy of http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3cfjk65tu1qc7r93o1_500.png
A Little Romance courtesy of http://deals.westin.com/uploadedfiles/SOP/Westin_Santa_Fe/romance.jpg
