Pause

Whisper

Pause, it just takes a moment to realize where I am
Only a moment to understand and see through the scam
I wanted the best at first, I usually want the most convenient
But it has gone far beyond the thought of mercy and being lenient
Now I crave another layer, a deeper knowledge of relation
I yearn for that untouchable state beyond fear and elation
Not quite the unnatural high produced by a drug called ecstasy
But instead an emotional height created by the awe of human synergy

I know it exists, it dances around my form taunting me with it’s perfection
I know it exists, holding itself just out of my grasp reveling in my rejection

Pause, again I hold still and wait for the recognition
Still awaiting the moment when the fates will end my persecution
I only desire what others take for granted, I only want to have those precious instances
But I remain unmoved unswayed by the power that consumes all it influences
Now I thirst for the storm it brings as it swallows whole all that it embraces
I hunger for the brush of it’s wings as it flies to overtake the heart it chases
Not quite like lust that rushes in and ebbs to nothing like the morning tide
But instead the constant consonance that prevails when it should subside

I know it exists, it lives behind the eyes of a well loved child
I know it exists, holding the secret of creation, making chaos less wild

So Suddenly

Resurrection drawn in oil pastels 1995

It always happens so suddenly, takes my breath and humbles me
As I fall down to my knees, I can’t believe you’re here with me
I look around and take in despair, glad to know that you still care
Feeling sorry for those who don’t see, the love of you setting us free

So Suddenly I was put to the test
So foolishly I denied to myself what was best
My arrogance overwhelmed my thought
Silly of me to let myself be bought

Always happens so suddenly someone not wanting me to be free
Always happens in a glance, another person taking that chance

Always happens in a blink of an eye, someone’s truth another’s lie
Suddenly you realize, that you can’t live outside His eyes

So suddenly life didn’t make any sense
Words had no meaning vowels no consonance
I was you and you were me
Inside I was sad, alone and ugly

My mind spun out of control
Not even aware of my own soul

So suddenly a calm settled over my heart
No longer was my mind being pulled apart

Ask so I held on in my heart and believed
And the way is true cause I opened and received
So suddenly it happens so suddenly you know where you must go
You know where you belong, you know

Like and Unending Circle. . Linking Like a Chain

Waiting

Somewhere near the end of time
Someplace lost, perfect and divine
I called it's name and waited for an answer
It moved slowly closer like an erotic dancer
It taunted me from afar and held me enrapt
Promised to hold my heart, my soul entrapped
Just as it arrived, I turned to run
Just as it reached for me, I wanted none
It's power frightens me, It's glory blinding to see
More than me, yet not nearly as offensive
Infinite madness, yet slow and pensive
A moment's hesitation, a moment's pause
I feel myself being clamped firmly in it's jaws
Escape is impossible, regret useless
It's true intentions I can only guess
Yet, I want it's heaven, I crave it's hell
I hunger for the lives it's lived, the stories it can tell
Let me go, set me free
If I swallow you whole, I will cease to be
My destruction in your hands, my salvation in your trust
And whatever the outcome, I know the decision will be just
Should I cry for mercy, or obnoxiously demand more
Ask to be tossed like a rag doll or expect to be taken to it's core

My decision made, I close my eyes
Releasing all self-doubts, all others' lies
I trust you, Whole and true
I love you, I love you