We arrive on the tail end of tomorrow
We stop to smell the roses, trying to drown our sorrow
The next day comes bringing hope and despair
Holding myths of forever, life without a care
O believe in the impossible, live by the inevitable
Tear away from the set and ignore status quo
Do you miss the boredom, miss the need
Do you crave the sickness, yearn to feed
The hate that rains on others yet passes some
The twist of the knife that is still to come
Depending on those that can’t depend on themselves or each other
Dropping life long friends because you’ve found a new lover
Density at mass is the best description
Failure at class, there is no redemption
Don’t pity me as you scoff because I’m not accepted
Instead feel my disgust in you, know I rejoice in being rejected
I can hear you laughing at me from your place in the vacuous void
I take it stone-faced and silent because I know it makes you paranoid
I’m not alone, regardless of what you may need to believe
Beside me stands a different sect awaiting the dawn of our eve
We arrive on the tail end of tomorrow
Waiting patiently for you to let go
The truth stands away from your lies
Every day it gets stronger as your view dies
O believe in the impossible, live by the inevitable
In the distance there is a reckoning that will destroy your fable
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Monday, November 11, 2013
If you ask a woman what male sexuality is I think most men and women would be shocked. Same thing goes for asking men the same question. I think the first step is understanding that we're all human. No really I mean it. For one moment think about what it means to be human. Treat the term like whales and sharks totally in that national geographic way. What do we all really want? Happiness, love, comfort, care, maybe a little excitement, but mostly the feel goods. What feels better, a quick fleeting rub or a long thorough caress. We all have skin, it all has relatively the same sensitivity. Sensitive to heat, to cold, to wet to dry. Sensitive to pressure, light and hard. It seems like we forget when dealing with a body other than our own.
Not all touching is sexual, not all sex involves touching. Sexual feelings can be gained from imagery, fantasy, smells. Sex can be a projection of what we assume and feel is sexual. The common thoughts are that each of us has a very physical representation for sex and what feels good during sex. It is not cliche but absolute fact that the most sensitive sexual organ is the brain. Sex is or is not whatever the person thinks it is or projects onto others what it should be.
America is an interesting place that has reduced male sexuality to baseline shits and giggles. Our movies don't really feature men as the sex symbols. If they are it is usually a consequence of the overall story being told. He is also usually portrayed as a total asshole. The man you're supposed to want is cute, successful, kind. A slew of characteristics that are to be equated to being a highly desirable male. I don't think the truth of the matter is portrayed as often as it should so American men don't get to enjoy some of the usually hallowed ground of women. Which is the ability and consequence of being a sexual being no matter the situation.
Women are almost constantly presented as sexual beings. Certain women the idealized sexual being. Most of this is a purely physical expression of sexual fulfillment based on the way the woman looks. It does not seem to concern itself with the consequence of the woman actually desiring the man back strictly for his own sexual nature. And usually the implication is that all types styles or methods of sex wanted by the male are acceptable. Even mutual satisfaction is a myth as women are reputed to not be as sexually inclined as men only wanting material possessions or emotional commitment in return for an unpleasant actuality. This accomplishes a couple of things. It makes sex a sellable commodity which advertisers enjoy but it also robs men of their ability to be desired exclusively in a sexual fashion.
I find it ironic that sexuality is often seen as a thing men take and a thing women possess. As if it is this one way street of supply and demand. Women give men sex and men just get sex which is what they want and women get other things which is never just sex. I just don't think it's that cut and dry.
Most women can tell you of a man or two who got into their pants just because he was the hottest thing they'd ever seen. He spoke strictly to their hormones and logical thought just wasn't in the plan. Just like men. Its not our instincts that are different. Its how we express them and how acceptable the form of expression is for both of us.
In the end there is a pull between us no matter your sexual inclinations. The pull is for whom and what you find attractive. The pull stems from desire which is based in potential sexual fulfillment which is visceral not mental. I could go through citing symmetry tests, shoulder to hip ratios, waist to hip ratios all the science. But is it so hard to believe that some wants are not taught, but hardwired based on a pattern that is older and wiser than any of us.
Take my specimen here:
And let's be honest who wouldn't. His name is Pedro Perestrello and when I see pictures of him I have a visceral response. Just a tingle here and there that tells me that within his features his look I see traits and features that are hardwired into me. But he's a model and that's why they pick them. He has features that are hardwired into a lot of women's sexual response nodes. There is a good chance that away from the camera he wouldn't ping at all. Why? Because he has learned how to project his sexuality. He makes his expression carnal and engaging. It makes promises and promises. . yes sexual fulfillment. Having the idea response just denotes healthy sexuality.
Let's examine Pedro shall we and figure out what's going on and why he can make me and a lot of other women all tingly.
I don't know about you but that look is what's really getting it done for me. Could it be that I feel that if a man is looking at me this way that promise of sexual fulfillment is very possible? Yes.
How well does this go without his avid attention?
Mind you I still think he's easy on the eyes but I'm not really feeling anything sexual. I'm just admiring a lovely landscape but there is no connection to sexual ideas to the point that I have a physical response. Any physical response is left over from before. The piercing direct look photos have given me the impetuous to believe that Pedro here is capable of delivering on sexual fulfillment.
So why is it that male sexuality isn't more of a thing? Why don't men teach each other how to project sexual fulfillment with their eyes and their bodies? Use what gifts nature gave them to have a leg up every once in a while on us. Most guys will tell you about a crazy time when a woman couldn't resist him, but it is usually followed up by the thought that she just wanted other things and actually having him sexually was not the main goal. What I want to challenge is the idea that this idea is normal. Men and woman should want each other for the most basic of reasons. The acknowledgement and fulfillment of sexual desire.
So boys do me a favor and learn to project more because then we'll all have to be more honest about the thing.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
I think as a culture we have a fascination with revenge. We like the idea of the bad guy getting their just desserts. It’s a common theme in film, television, literature, and all forms of media. Our stories are built on determining who is the good guy and who is the bad guy. We like being able to assign blame and fault. We like being right. And oh we love to see the outcome of such acts. It's this subconscious verification that the universe does doll out the appropriate payment for certain actions. Even though we know life isn't fair we are constantly seeking proof to the contrary. So much so that we ourselves are willing to do the dirty work if the Universe seems stalled.
The only issue with this is that too often in our daily lives we can manufacture villains when there are not any. We can seek someone who we feel deserves revenge when the only faults they truly have are being human.
Being human is a tricky thing and what I feel provides most of the trouble. We are in truth simple dumb beasts in a lot of ways. We just so happen to also be very clever ones. We have encased ourselves into our environment in a way that makes it easy to forget that. Our ideas are shaped by our environment and culture. We are easy to program through media and being constantly plugged in.
Many studies have proven that being constantly inundated with specific patterns of thought and ideas has a lasting effect on how we view and deal with the world. Only with a lot of work can this be altered or even deterred. Even so, exposure to any form of media for a long period of time has a lasting effect.
I think of how stories from the Bible have influenced the creation of our society and developed laws. From the creation of fairytales and how they have shaped thoughts and ideas about male and female relationships to how the voyeuristic nature of reality TV has created this subsection with this social media explosion we are currently in the middle of. We are constantly being influenced on how to think, what to think, and what to believe.
What terrifies me is how few people understand that in reality there is a very specific core group of individuals that get to decide what type of influences we get. Thus they are shaping the world in their image. Slowly filling all of our minds with what they want humanity to be. What you see is what they want you to see, and how they want you to see it. In many ways the explosion of social media is the only thing that is breaking through the illusion cast by forms of organized media. However it is through this lens we can sometimes clearly see the effect of other forms of media on our thinking.
|Social Media and the Brain|
There are fascinating bodies of work being built based on social media sites and the things people feel comfortable expressing on them. Clearly we see our culture and its concerns with discrimination, equality, and finance. We live in a world where by a chance of bonding in a statement that is only 144 characters long a nobody can speak to a media icon. A world where 1000s of miles can vanish and you can have a face-to-face conversation through a machine. With our innovations however our basic make-up and what we need in a story or a plotline has not changed, just the way we deploy it.
But isn't this really the problem. A lot of who we are as humans has not changed. And now we can see ourselves clearly. And even more impressive future generations will be able to catalogue some of our lives in intimate detail because we have become intimate with our communication methods and devices. We have not actually grown into our technology, it has grown despite us. And I believe it will inevitable force us to grow as we are creating a symbiotic union with technology.
Previous versions of humanity never had what we now have, a true reflection of the soul. It began millennia ago with art, the need to create. It wobbled its first steps with the development of religion, absolute truths that we made ourselves believe so that we could learn to think. It matured in government, policy, and the creation of a ruling class. It manifest in social groupings, nationalities, our ability to separate used to extreme discretion. Its focus narrows in communities, chosen professions, supply and demand systems to fulfill our own wants and needs. And it completes the circle coming back to one and the reflection is finally clear, each moment documented and preserved by a system that unlike us will not forget our history. Finally forcing us to not do the same.
I know what you're thinking, revenge is the topic. True but we can't delve into revenge until we understand perspective. This plays a crucial role in determining what actions deserve to be avenged. Everyone has a point of no return action that takes mild mannered you and replaces it with bug ass nuts Batman. For most people it involves any hurt coming to loved ones whether on purpose or not.
The issue is that almost everything negates the thought that accidents are blame free. It negates that sometimes $#!& happens. While there are cases of obvious negligence, sometimes accidents just happen and yet we need to find fault. If not there wouldn't need to be so many lawyers on TV advertising their services for accidents. Clearly they can afford advertising it's a profitable business. But why? The need to assign blame, fault, and ultimately gain revenge. The just desserts of the bad guy. Because for humans bad things can't just happen. Someone has to make them happen. And in a decent amount of cases this is true. But not all of the time. Sometimes things are inexplicable and we should be damned glad that they are.
What is really gained? A sense of satisfaction for setting right a wrong? What validation is the revenge seeker getting? Well clearly how our society views this is at work. We are social creatures, and the smug sense of knowing that you did 'the right thing' by the standards of others is sometimes too hard to resist, and is usually a good thing.
But the concept of revenge has usually been the deed of a villain not a hero. However our society has developed the anti-hero. The concept that the bad guy can now be the good guy. I believe this is a reflection of humanity coming to terms with itself. Now that our mirrors are so clear we can't be coerced to forget, and the little slips in history can't be covered like it was hundreds of years ago. We have only been told noble stories of noble past deeds. The truth is most likely closer to what we can now see.
The truth is, no one can be all good all of the time. We all fall, we all are capable and sometimes unknowingly wrong someone. But in a world where even accidents can be blamed on someone, you no longer have good guys. You just have people making mistakes so tales of atonement become pressingly more popular. We can't be perfect, but the world still has to be fair. You must pay your dues and gain atonement. Black and white is torn asunder and you are left with multi-tonal gray.
Gray feels messy, unbalanced. Shocking when the world used to be so stark. It confuses you, it makes you uncomfortable. The lines before were so very clear and now not at all. Eventually you realize black and white was too binding, gray is an excellent color.
Gray accounts for mistakes, accidents, and well-intentioned mishaps. It opens the door to no one being denied forgiveness or salvation. In gray is all of our hopes and dreams, true acceptance among each other.
Gray doesn't really need revenge. Revenge is a residual response from those black and white days. Gray just needs solutions to existing problems. You aren't being held accountable for anything but your own actions. And even those can be managed. Give time a shot at it, amazing things happen in time. Because somewhere along the way of our journey to what we are now, time somehow managed to show us that.
|Glorious Shades of Gray|
And Always courtesy of http://www.leadliaison.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/use-marketing-automation-to-avoid-human-error.jpg
Brain Processing courtesy of http://www.disruptionmanifesto.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Slide7.jpg
Social Media and the Brain courtesy of http://johnbell.typepad.com/weblog/images/2008/09/04/pr_brain2.jpg
The Crow courtesy of http://www.dumage.com/img/fun/righteous-anti-heroes-in-movies/righteous-anti-heroes-in-movies01.jpg
Glorious Shades of Gray courtesy of http://www.seducingwithstyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/shades-of-black-and-grey-1024x789.jpg
The Question courtesy of http://freetheanimal.com/images/2012/10/Screen-Shot-2012-10-28-at-1.02.14-PM.png