Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts

Friday, May 6, 2016

Tripping the Light Fantastic an excerpt from Shuttered Vision

Fiona was running, the earth was moving fast beneath her feet. She was laughing and playing.  The sun was bright and florid. The air rich with the scent of poppies.  She stopped running and started twirling in circles, just like she had when she was little.  The man that stared down at her was her favorite man in the world. She stopped spinning and threw herself into his waiting arms.

“Fee-Fee.” He said like he always had softly, quickly and yet insistently giving it all the French inclinations it desired. “What are you doing here?” he asked in his odd Spanish, Texan, French accent.

“I wanted to see you.”

He gave her that chiding look that only an overindulging father gives his child. “Petite, you have other things to do besides obsess over me.  How is your mother?”

“She misses you.”

He shielded his dark eyes. “And I her.  We will meet again she and I.”

“Soon?”

He gave her a firm look. “What have I told you about asking about the future?”

“Don’t do it.”

“You have something to do.” He stated as he gave her a final hug and then put her down.  He looked into the horizon of the grassy area that they were on.  It was like a still set almost.  Wind blew and there was grass and the smell of poppies but it was static, none moving giving cry to the illusion of the place.  With firm steps he walked to the edge of her vision and poked the sky.  It rippled from the spot.

“He’s eavesdropping.” He stated.

Fiona felt shock and surprise. “No one comes here but me, not even Momma. How--”

“He’s searching for you cherie. And he has found you.”

He moved now to stand behind Fiona, slowly he took her hand and moved it across the sky.  It felt like satin under her fingertips and like water the fabric of the sky parted and fell away to reveal her field and there was a tall blonde man standing in the middle of it.  Fiona turned to go back but it was too late, she was now in her field.

Instantly Fiona was enraged with the man. “What are you doing here and who in the hell are you?”

He stood there staring at her. “You can see me.” He said softly.

“Of course I can see you.”

He shrugged. “You were running and twirling, it looked like you were talking to someone but I didn’t see anyone else.”

Fiona felt herself take a deep breath. “What are you doing here?”

“Hiding.” He smiled back at her.

“Should I bother asking who you are?”

“I’m nobody darling.”

Fiona felt herself start to move towards him, but she didn’t walk.  It was almost as if he willed her to him and she merely floated over. She looked down and saw her field moving beneath her feet.  She tried a few times to stop the motion and was unsuccessful.

“What are you?” she asked in a ragged fashion.

“Just a man.” He said evenly.

“No way, no one does –“

“I know, no one controls this but you.”

She was right in front of him now. She was elevated so that she could look him in the eye.  His sea green eyes searched her face. “My those are amazing eyes you’re got.  With the right light, they’d film like a dream.  People would think they’re CGI’d.”

“I doubt I’m the filming type.”

“You’re right. You’re gorgeous but you’re built too much like a real woman for Hollywood.  It’s all about the illusion you see, trick the world into believing only filmable things should exist.  Very few men would even see your face with the rest of that displayed.”
Fiona felt herself blush.

“Beautiful lips.” And then he leaned into her.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

12/12/12 @ 12:12AM EST


I told myself I wanted to write and post a blog on 12/12/12 at 12:12 AM.  I didn’t know what to talk about.  Lately my mind has been set to magic.  Not just any magic but that special magic that can happen between a man and a woman.  Love is my thing so I stay the course.

Recently I had to make some very pertinent decisions in regards to my own love life or lack there of.  They say that in order to let something wonderful come into your life you have to be willing to let something equal or more go.  That’s what I did.  I feel bereft, a little lost, somewhat foolish.  It’s a step in a direction that I haven’t ever really taken.  I’m finally committing to letting go of all that has previously held me back and relying on the compassion of Fate to not leave me out in the cold over it.

I believe we all have an innate fear of walking away from a situation that isn’t really working. I think we get so used to things not working that it becomes all we know.  It’s familiar and we don’t like change.  So when something is just even slightly better than we’ve ever known, we settle.  And when we settle we have to convince ourselves of our choice constantly.  We are constantly trying to reinforce the idea that this is what we really want and we should fight for it because it can’t get better.  That is a lie and an illusion.  Irony is the fact that we never doubt that things can get worse, however we hardly ever believe things can get better.

It’s hard because I’ve known such high moments of better when it comes to love.  My first serious relationship break-up is one of the loveliest bittersweet moments of my life.  The breakup of my marriage, my most devastating. My committed relationships have been few and far between.  There have been 2. Then like everyone else the ones I wanted and could never have, the ones that got away, the ones I squandered, and ones where commitment was never the goal. But regardless of the status, the emotional intensity was of a caliber that I can’t settle anymore.

The result is a woman that no matter her level of loneliness or desire for a relationship, does not lie to herself about the feeling behind a potential encounter.  And I know how lucky I’ve been that somehow the things I’ve known have lit a furnace within me that doesn’t leave me to seek empty relationships and sexual experiences to warm me.  I know what the real thing feels like, what it sounds like and how it moves. I won’t cheapen that knowledge and the pains and joys I experienced to gain it by accepting whatever happens to be there.  The past is useful because it builds discernment. The trick is managing to not live in the past because it may not seem like it but the past takes up so much space.

So on this magical day where numerologists are doing handstands I will speak on the biggest miracle of all. Love, true blinding lasting love that burns for an eternity without fail or end.  There is a thing that defines actual possession.  It is a sense of belonging to another not thru simple words, honor, or mentally judged dedication.  It is a deep soul knowledge that cannot be displaced by space or time. It is a fact, a law of nature.  The only thing that prevents us from all living in this space is our own denial of its existence. 

So on this magical day recite this out loud so I may curse you with love’s glorious fury and sublime subjugation.

I wish you the love you need, not the love you seek
I wish you the joy of divinity, not what people speak
I wish you the cradle of belonging, instead of striving to fit in
I wish you the grace of nature’s magic, let your new life begin

So go out and fall in love and if already are. . . Fall HARDER. .

Always w/ love,

Sue

Friday, November 18, 2011

Prologue of Shuttered Vision from the Series Life Goes On


Prologue


 She was surrounded by flowers.  They ranged in fragrance and hue.  Some were lilac, some daisies, lavender, roses, orchids, hyacinths.  It was the colors that captured one's attention.  Unlike any she'd ever seen.  They were vivid, vibrant shades of sun orange, amethyst purple, sapphire blue, ruby red with amazing emerald greens.  Some shown in multiple colors like red and green for bloodstones. Dark carnelian red, smoky iridescent quartz. She stared into her sky; it always looked like sunset with vivid blues and purples mixing with reds and oranges. Cloudy enough to make a lovely image, but never so cloudy that it seemed gloomy.

She inhaled deeply as she lay in the field of flowers understanding the message she was being given as the scent of white sage floated laced with the fragrance of the flowers. Eyes closed she pushed deeper into herself.  From her field she could determine all she needed to know.  She needed to find who was calling her, had been calling her for months now. But always lingered the thought, this one is a stranger and doesn't want to be found. She felt the pressure of a hand. It was larger than hers, firm and rough.  The breath on the back of her neck was steady and calm.  He lay right behind her, right under her, right beside her.  In this place he was practically a part of her.

She tried to turn around to face him, but was stopped. The sensation was odd for her, these things were always under her control.  No one got to make choices for her here yet here he was stopping her. She pressed harder and was met with more force. Abruptly she turned and the world pitched to black.  She was falling through her field.  The flower base being ripped away as her nose was assaulted by burning flesh.  Her eyes flew open and she saw the petals smoldering beside her as they all fell.  She looked down to see herself falling towards pits of lava, banked flaming mounds of earth and oceans of burning water sizzling away, salting the air with it's demise. Creatures colored with flame and smelt snapped their jaws at her ready to devour her.  Flame winged imps and demons swarmed above them taunting them with the kill they couldn't have whipping them into a frenzy.  Sea leviathans with several heads and tails swam freely in the burning oceans eating all that crossed their path. Stubby, stumpy moss covered beasts resembling jackals roamed the flaming mounds unheaded.  There was peril at every stop.

She threw her hands in front of her face to shield what was coming her way.  Then suddenly she stopped falling.  An arm secured her at the waist as strong arms pulled her around and she pressed her now tearstained cheeks to his neck.

"Who are you and why have you brought me here?" she asked.

"I'm sorry. You were never meant to be here. I like your field," a deep masculine voice replied.

"What hell are you from?"

"The worst kind, the one of my own making."

She vaguely noticed that they were moving upward.  And within moments she was as she was before on her back in her field his presence there but not intrusive.

"How did you get here?" she asked him knowing that if she tried to face him again she would be dumped into his hell.

"I don't know. I've been trying to figure it out.  But I'm selfish enough to not mind if it doesn't bother you."

"You need my help."

"I have all the help from you I need.  Right here in your field."

"It's more than that.  You don't understand what I am, what I do.  No one shows up here that I don't already know."

"I should go --"

"No wait --"

"See ya next time Flower girl."

 Fiona awoke from a dead sleep with the stranger's voice still clear in her head. She clutched her head and doubled over in her bed for a moment.  She straightened and with a deep sigh reached for her journal and started cataloging the points of her dream so that she could analyze it when morning came.  She lay back on her headrest when she was done shaken.  Who was that man haunting her dreams?  He had been there for months now.  And over the course of time his presence had gotten stronger as he felt more comfortable with her. 

At first it had been just a brief but untimely intrusion.  She hadn’t even really noticed anyone was there.  Almost like an itch that was easily scratched.  She had determined it was nothing and it became so.  A brief irritation she had swiftly evicted.  But somehow he had found other ways in and had made her sanctuary his safe haven. 

Fiona lay back down and sighed willing herself to go back to sleep.  Maybe by the light of a new day she would be able to make sense of this chaos.